Writing can be very therapeutic – and the success does not depend on your writing ability. Writing also can be more beneficial for some people when writing by hand, compared to using a computer. You can test this to see if you notice a difference.

I like to use journaling with clients to focus on areas they need to think about and that we will explore in our coaching sessions.

Purpose: Write a journal to explore thoughts and feelings about significant things in life. You can have a private journal or you can share the contents of your journal with your partner, friends or family. This will depend on the purpose for your journal.

Why it works: It helps people clarify their thoughts and feelings. Seeing it in black and white makes it more real and results in valuable self-knowledge.

How to journal: Buy blank journals or buy a ringed notebook. You can note the topic and then share your thoughts and comments. Date each page and add to it daily.

What are the benefits: Easy way to remind yourself of thoughts and concerns.

Topics to focus on in your journaling:

  • Career/Work – share something notable with your work/career
  • Family – how is your relationship with family members, anything notable
  • Relationship – share something special about a relationship each day
  • Sexuality – this can be something of note for yourself or with a partner
  • Health – share something about your health
  • Money/Financial – were there pros and cons financially today
  • Spiritual – were there spiritual aspects to your day – good or bad
  • Personal Development – did you notice pros or cons in your development
  • Recreation – what did you do purely for fun and recreation
  • Environment – what is notable around you and how did it affect you
  • Gratitude – what are you thankful for each day
  • A reward for yourself – what did you do for yourself that day

Focus on sharing your thoughts about at least 6 of these topics each day. This can be a couple of sentences or sometimes you need to share more details. Note we will come back to the negatives for additional areas that need improvement.

Couples – at the end of the day, share one or two of the things on your list that your partner should know or would appreciate. Very important — keep the comment positive and encouraging. This is exercising your verbal and written communication skills – you don’t have to be a great writer, the idea is to express what you think and then verbalize that to your partner. If you have a problem and your partner takes your comment wrong, take a few minutes to think about what you said, how you said it and any non verbal signals you conveyed – to see how you can improve your communication the next evening. If you can’t find the problem, find a quiet and uninterrupted time to ask your partner how you could express yourself differently to them.

Life and relationships are learning experiences, so it is very beneficial to be open to learning new things about yourself and your partner.

For more information about how you can work with a love and relationship coach – contact Nikki Leigh at

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