6 Secrets to Be the Nice Guy Women Want

Sure you’re nice – most people are. So what?

This quality is one that reflects your feeling that you’re a man worth knowing and you deserve women’s attention. But do you really believe that women pay attention to what you think you deserve?

Being nice is not enough. Okay, fine, you’re nice, but you also need to be interesting.

Unfortunately, “nice guy” equates to wimp/dweeb in too many people’s minds.

Believe me: you don’t have to be a jerk to attract women!

As a matter of fact, women did not like jerks or aggressive men. They are attracted by challenging, interesting guys. That’s all. You can be interesting, challenging and still a nice man. Be yourself but keep in mind these significant things that can make the difference between a regular nice guy and a successful one:

1. Women LOVE a man who is a CHALLENGE… the quickest and easiest way I’ve ever heard to let a woman know that YOU are the guy she should be pursuing is to let women know you are successful with women. Be a nice guy, but one that is desirable. :)

2. The MOST EFFECTIVE way to approach a woman and spark her attraction for you is giving her a COMPLIMENT on her looks. This can be a disaster if done wrong… but just find something at her what you really think is special, different about her. You give attention, and you will get attention in return!

3. Not being aggressive doesn’t mean that you have to wait for madam perfection to drop into your lap (which you as a “nice guy” deserve by definition, of course). You have to take some initiative. BE SELF-CONFIDENT (but not really cocky) and show some honest interest in something about a woman.

4. The best selling genre of books in the world is romance novels… because women LOVE romance. So don’t talk about sport for God seek! If you are not the type of man that reads poetry or is able to talk about moon or about the smell of burned tree leafs, don’t do it. You’ll look unnatural. But taking your date in a romantic place, offering her a nice flower, enjoying some good music or even touching her hand in a delicate way is very romantic.

5. And don’t talk only about you. You want her to listen to you? Then first listen carefully to her when she needs to be heard. The most effective way to be interesting is asking questions and listens. Only try and you’ll see. :)

Keep in mind that often (not always, but very often) when a woman tells you about a problem she’s having, she’s not looking to you for the solution. What? That doesn’t make sense? What she’s often looking for is comfort and reassurance and knowing that YOU’RE THERE.

6. One of the most important things in dating is to approach women that are interested in dating and women that seem to be interested in you. Don’t try to sell candies to someone that is looking for peanuts and don’t waste your time with women that are still affected by their ex long term relationships. You don’t want to be just a shoulder to cry?

You only live once, so live your life well!

Baking Bread for Romance

All young girls and young women have heard that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This put an interesting new spin on that idea.

The simple act of baking has been used as a sacred ritual since human being first learned to heat food over an open flame. Today this art is called Kitchen Witchery and it has a loyal following.

Breads and other grain products are the ones most often chosen for kitchen magick simply because of their ancient associations with unity and magickal timing. Grain products have been sacred to many deities all around the world, with harvest and threshing times often marking the dates of ancient holiday. The phrase “breaking bread together” ha been used to umbolize unity, friendship and familial bonds, and has also been the basis for many spells designed to attract romance.

An English spell that is alo popular in the southern Appalachian Mountains tells us to bake a loaf of bread where the name of our desired love has either been carved onto the dough prior to or during the baking. As the loaf bakes, the baker should it near the stove, mentally pouring the energy of their desired outcomes into the bread. When this magickally charged loaf is shared between the baker and their desired mate, an engagement is almost a certainty.

Whether you believe in the magick or not — do you pour your love into all the things you bake for your loved one?

(From Bewitchments: Love Magick for Modern Romance by Edain McCoy)

Violets of Purple Passion

A week or two ago I was looking at random used books — yes, I love books :) While I was looking through the titles, I found Bewitchments: Love Magick for Modern Romance. It is an entire book of love tips, love potions and love spells. So – for a little fun, I’ll be sharing random potions and spells. Feel free to share your thoughts. Also, if you a spell or potion you’d like to share, feel free to send them to 4mitzirae@gmail.com

Each week I’ll include whether it is “manipulative” or “non manipulative”. The number of items you need to do this. How long it takes and the best time to use each idea. Have fun :)

Nature: Non manipulative

Number of Items: 1

Time Frame: 15 minutes

Best Timing: Full moon, Monday

Take a handful of freshly plucked violet buds and toss them haphazardly in front of you while thinking of romance and they will fall into a pattern that suggests the name or initials of your future mate. This spell can be enhanced if you do it in the face of a gentle west wind.

When you try this — come back and let us know the results. Even better, if you want to take a picture of your violet buds, I’ll add it to this post….

From Bewitchments: Love Magick for Modern Romance by Edain McCoy

Tips to Get in the Mood for Romance

Are you ready for love? Are you in the mood for love?  You may not be sure at this point. Maybe you’re not quite ready yet?  Once you start to bring romance into your life or if this is your first dive into the pool of romance, there is something you will notice. You will start to experience a wonderful new mood which is inspired by your new romance with your partner. Even if you’re married, you may not have really been romantic. Now is the time. Let’s get started… setting the mood for romance.

You can start off slowly with the familiar and traditional romantic gestures like holding doors open, flowers, candy, little love letters and special attention to his or her needs.  Once you make these romantic gestures habits in your relationship, you will notice an increase in your appetite for more romance and similar moods.  One way to satisfy your newfound appetite is with some sensuous fun in addition to romantic ideas.

When you’re ready to add romantic acts into your daily routine with your partner, be creative.  For example, you can buy decorative pillows for the bedroom with “Tonight” and “Not Tonight” printed on either side.  You can use this as your own private signal for each other and your intentions. You may want to use teddy bears that say “Him” and “Her” to show who is taking the initiative to heat things up.  Other couples will use more subtle indications as to their intentions in the bedroom.

When you want to think of your own things to do, make up your own ‘code’ to say when the mood strikes you or as a clue to what kind of mood you’re in.  Maybe your woman will say “I’m getting tired” and then you can say, “Well, then let’s get you to bed.”  Try something even more subtle like saying the same word three times in the same sentence like ‘blue’ or another obvious word.  Walk up to your partner and begin humming ‘your song’ in his or her ear.  For couples with children or others in the house, you can do something like Carol Burnett did in her television show when she tugged her earlobe as a private signal. Use whatever type of signal you both agree will be your own private foreplay that will make you want to rush off to make love!

Occasionally, use something extra special that you and your partner enjoy to get in the mood like chocolate!  Chocolate is one of the few things that most men and women share a love for and always enjoy more.  You can use chocolate in various ways to spark romance or initiate foreplay with your partner.  You can give your partner a gift of their favorite chocolate and that can be enough to get him or her in the mood.  If you want something a little more intimate, bring his or her favorite chocolates to bed one night and feed each other. To heat things up more, you can insist that your partner has lick off the chocolate that melts on your fingers.  To take it a step further, you can ‘accidentally’ get some melted chocolate on your partner’s body!  Lick it off, making sure to get it all. Be sure to let your partner know how good it tastes and definitely do it again and again!

I’ve heard that chocolate is an aphrodisiac.  Why not test the sensual power of chocolate in a variety of ways with your partner.

Respect for Your Partner is Part of a Healthy Relationship

Respect is a basic human value. It is defined as an attitude of admiration or esteem for a person. This feeling is generally a result of how we feel about a person’s achievements. How much we care for the person can also contribute to the respect we show to them. While all people deserve respect, not many of they receive this.

Everyone wants to be respected by others but not everyone gets respect and some don’t act in a way that makes them deserving of it. To start, let’s define a person who deserves our respect.

First of all, keep in mind that in order to demand or expect respect, you will have to treat others with equal amount of respect. I’ve heard the phrase “demand respect” my entire life. But, I feel people earn our respect through their actions, words and deeds.

‘Respect’ is just a word, but what it means and how it reflects on us can make all the difference in how we see ourselves and others — and how we relate to future possibilities and choices.

Respect in Your Relationship

I feel the keys to a successful relationship include: open honest communication, trust, love and respect. These traits help us shine in the good times but also build our strength and resolve in the tough times.

Many successful relationships have been built around different political or religious believes, but it all boils down to respect. They are based on the belief that both partners are equal, that the power and control in the relationship are equally share. In a relationship, respect means listening each other, valuing each other’s opinions, and understanding the other’s emotions.

If you want to encourage and develop respect with your partner, here are some helpful tips.

First of all it is very important to have self-respect. Treat yourself with respect. If she sees that you don’t have any respect for yourself she might decide she doesn’t have to show you respect either, because it is not important to you.

Give what you take. Show respect if you want to be respected. Everyone wants to be admired and appreciated. If you show your girlfriend that she is important to you, she is more likely to show how important you are to her. Be attentive, give compliments, and make her feel comfortable and content with you. Admire and respect the person you are with and listen when she talks. She’ll love to spend time with you.

Relax. Women sometimes think men are mediocre because they have a boring personality. So, when you have a date with her relax and have fun and she will feel great with you. If she finds you uptight and boring you may get dumped. If you make her feel good she will respect you for the funny guy you are, it is a great quality to be able to make her smile even when she is sad.

Don’t lie. We all know women don’t like to be lied to. If she caught you in a lie she will definitely not have respect for you. But, if she sees that you are sincere with her, she will be proud of you and show more respect for you.

Be confident and polite. Look into her eyes when she talks to you and make her feel that you are a person she can trust. Show her that she can talk with you about any subject or problem and can count on your help. Don’t forget to be polite, this will bring mutual respect.

Both people in a relationship need to show respect and to have their partner show respect for them. Here are some ways you can do that for one another.

  • Let each other feel comfortable about themselves
  • Be able to when you’re wrong
  • Be willing to compromise
  • Respect each other’s opinions, feelings and friends
  • Try to resolve conflicts by talking honesty
  • Accept when one of you say no to things you don’t want to do

So, take a deep look at your relationship to see if you and your partner are doing these things for one another. If not, you should work on cultivating more respect for one another.

Is Romance Enough for a Happy Relationship

Holding onto myths and out of date viewpoints about relationships and marriage can hold couples back from having a truly fulfilling and happy relationship. It is important to recognize your partner and his or her individuality with so much to offer you and your relationship if you love, support and respect your partner. Encouraging your partner through support, understanding and appreciation are crucial to breaking through stereotypes and the myths that surround relationships between men and women.

Working to dismiss that type of information as old-fashioned, irrelevant and flat-out wrong can open doors in your relationship you didn’t even know were closed. When things become tense between you and your partner, keep in mind some of the stereotypes you are familiar with and work to put them out of your mind.

For example, if one of you or both of you believe that romance is the best way to hide or ignore each others faults – that will cause you more problems. Someone who is not a nice person doesn’t miraculously change because they give their partner flowers. That partner still isn’t a nice person. Romantic gestures may hide faults for a while, but the person’s true self always come through. Start by being realistic about each other and your expectations, then romance can work wonders to improve your relationship.

If you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile and if you are in a long time relationship, you most likely would have seen it by now if that is true about your partner. For most people, there isn’t any truth to this saying and it sets us up to be suspicious of someone. People who believe this myth will be suspicious when it isn’t warranted or deserved. If you give a little bit consistently, you will be satisfying your partner and they won’t need that extra. If you don’t ever give or give so infrequently that your efforts are forgotten, your partner has every right to demand a mile from you. Give him or her an inch and enjoy the journey down the rest of the mile together.

If you think that once you marry someone that you can change him or her, you are in for a rude awakening. You cannot change a person, yet you can make an impact on how they see things, you can help them adjust to new or unfamiliar ways of thinking and you could manipulate them (although I never recommend that), but nothing will change or even fix your partner.

Never manipulate or push your partner into a direction he or she resists. You may be the one who needs to alter his or her way of thinking or viewing things. You may be able to do that on your own or require the help of a love coach to show you the skills you need for better understanding and acceptance of you and your spouse. If you feel there are problems between you and your partner due to personality conflicts, try working together to learn how to express thoughts and feelings better and more productively. If you are both in love, you will find the romance in there somewhere.

For more information about working with a love coach/relationship coach to improve your relationship, contact Nikki at lovecoachjourney@gmail.com

Combine Romance and Creativity in Your Love Life

Why is it that so many people believe that they don’t have time or take the initiative to be romantic?  Maybe most people don’t believe that they are creative enough to be romantic.  Everyone is creative!  The definition of being creative is having the ability or power to create.  The word create offers a much broader definition than most people accept when it comes to the process of being able to come up with something original or simply well thought out.

Gifts that are considered to be traditionally romantic like candy and flowers are wonderful, but sometimes you need something that goes one step further.  If your spouse enjoys flowers, you don’t have to settle for roses because they can sometimes become unexciting after a while!  Present him or her with something completely original such as a daisy or another flower where petals can be counted.  Ask him or her to play the childhood game of ‘they love me, they love me not’ and watch them pluck the petals as they go.  However, don’t allow for the possibility of him or her arriving at the ‘they love me not’.  Count the petals before you present the flower to your spouse and trim it so that there is an odd number of petals for the right outcome!

Arts and crafts used to be a fun break from the monotony of the school day, but believe it or not, it will come in handy when it comes to creative romantic gestures.  Instead of promising that you will love him or her forever, show them.  Take a piece of paper, ribbon or other material you choose and write “I love you” on both sides from end to end.  Twist the paper 180 degrees and connect both ends of the paper until you have mad what looks like the figure eight.  Tape or glue to ends together.  You can present your love with a symbol that shows them your love for them is an endless love.

Creativity comes in many different forms!  Being creative can mean creating an atmosphere.  If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply don’t want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (it’s up to you whether or not you tell him or her!).  You won’t have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.

Maybe romance is on your mind, but he or she is going out of town. Did you know that people on airplanes are typically hopeless romantics?  Any flight attendant would be more than happy to make sure that your spouse receives a special present after the flight has left the ground.  Simply approach a crew member after he or she boards the plane and they are usually more than happy to oblige a hopeless romantic like you!  (You might want to make sure that the gift is unwrapped or keep it to a single rose due to heightened security.)

Creativity doesn’t have to come in the form of gifts every single time.  Gestures like getting up and dancing with your spouse when a special song comes on the radio is quite creative and incredibly romantic!  Whenever the mood strikes you, allow your creative juices to flow!

Are You Happy in Your Relationship

You may be wondering – what would you discuss with a love coach or a relationship coach? This coach is a person that helps you with a variety of areas of your personal development. They help you set and reach goals in several areas of your life, including:

  • Dating
  • Love
  • Romance
  • Relationships
  • Intimacy
  • Sexuality

When someone asks you how your relationship is – what do you say? Do you smile when you say, “Its great”? Do you try not to grit your teeth when you say, “Its fine”? Or, do you hesitate because you aren’t sure how you feel about your relationship?

Think about those six important areas of your life. Take a piece of paper or print this out and beside each area, write how you feel about it. Are you very satisfied, satisfied, content, not satisfied, very dissatisfied? I know that sounds like a telemarketer questionnaire, but this is much more important than any telemarketing call.

Think of your dating life, even in a committed relationship, you should still take time to date. Do  you and your partner go on a date – just the two of you at least twice a month? Is this time to focus on one another or are the kids or friends and family always with you? Dating is a great way to focus on one another and to keep the romance alive.

What about love? Sure you love your partner, but are you still in love with them? Many long term relationships continue, but that spark that makes your heart skip a beat when he walks in the door or when she has great news, just isn’t there. Do you work to keep your love strong? Do you kiss your partner good bye when they leave and kiss hello when they get home? Kissing is often the first thing a long term couple stops, and that is an indication something is wrong. Make a commitment to kiss, a real kiss, not a peck on the cheek, at least twice a day.

Romance – is there still romance in your relationship? If you still go on dates with each other, that’s a great start. What about doing little romantic things for each other? Do you leave thoughtful loving notes for your partner to find? Occasionally do you turn down the lights and have a quiet dinner alone? During the work day, take a few minutes to send a sexy text to tell your partner what you’d like to do with them later that night. It will bring a smile to their face and could easily brighten a dull afternoon at work. Romance doesn’t have to be hard – especially in a long term relationship, you know what your partner likes – and you should never stop looking for ways to please each other and show you still love one another.

Are you happy with your relationship? This goes beyond having a roof over your head and food in the fridge. Do you feel complete in your relationship? Do you and your partner work together to make and maintain a home? There will always be issues to contend with, but do you know your partner is there to support you and to work through the hard times? Do you feel good about yourself in this relationship?

Finally – are you happy with the level and degree of intimacy in your relationship? Is your sex life fulfilling for you? That doesn’t mean that you have sex several times a month. That means do you have sex on a regular basis and is it truly satisfying. Is it like the kind of sex you had when you were first married? Do you are your partner make an effort to find new ways to please each other? And intimacy, do you have a real intimacy in your relationship? That isn’t just sex, but the deeper connection between you and your partner – the kind that touches the deepest parts of your being and that makes you completely satisfied – with or without sex.

These are just some details off the top of my head. So – take a few minutes, look over the questions above and think about how you would rate dating, romance, love, relationship, intimacy and sex – in your life. Are there any areas you’d like to talk to a love coach about – to find ways to make it even better? Do you feel like you are getting a better understanding of the areas where a love coach or a relationship coach can help you?

These are the kinds of things I’m learning to help people with as a love coach. I’m sure the learning will not end, but learning to find the core problems and help clients use a variety of tools and techniques to improve the quality of their relationships is very rewarding and very satisfying.

Sex in the land of Kama Sutra by Shobhan Bantwal, Author of the Unexpected Son

Sex in the land of Kama Sutra

By Shobhan Bantwal – author of THE UNEXPECTED SON

I have no idea when Indian culture turned prudish, but the India I know has always been tight-lipped about sex and anything to do with the man-woman relationship. The belief is that the British brought their Victorian ideas of extreme modesty when they occupied what used to be a free-thinking India.

Now, most Indians don’t even mention the word “sex” if they can help it—except to mean gender.

When my fellow Indians learn that my books have a little romance and occasionally a sex scene, most of them, even the chatty ones, suddenly become silent. But the non-verbal messages are clear: why in God’s name is a 50-something, married, Brahmin woman writing about love and sex? Couldn’t she stick to something respectable like spiritualism, or mother-child relationships, or some other benign topic that would befit someone of her age and status?

All this prudishness flourishes despite the simple fact that India is probably the only ancient culture that boasts a 1,700-year-old primer on the art of love-making, a sex education textbook known as the Kama Sutra. Erotic sculptures abound in centuries-old Indian temples, too. India’s population is well over a billion, about one-sixth of the entire world, clearly indicating that sex is alive and flourishing.

I was always a romance fiction addict. So at the age of 50, teetering on menopause, I decided to take the plunge and write what I liked—women’s fiction peppered with romance. Believe me, there is plenty of romance even in arranged marriage, in all its eroticism and tenderness.

THE UNEXPECTED SON is my fourth novel and the story starts with premarital sex, such a strictly prohibited notion that a young couple engaged in it is often shunned by society. It used to be that way when I was growing up in India, and to a large extent still is.

My heroine makes an honest mistake as a teenager by sleeping with the college sports hero in a small town in the 1970s. She pays a heavy price, not only in the immediate future, but 30 years later, when the result of her innocent indiscretion comes back to ruin her and her family.

A Note From Shobhan – Information about my books, video trailers, contact, photos from India, reviews, contests, and recipes is available on my website: www.shobhanbantwal.com.  Enter a giveaway on my website during August for a FREE copy of The Unexpected Son.  You can also visit me on Facebook and MySpace. All my books can be purchased at any retail bookstore or online bookseller. For more information about The Unexpected Son virtual tour, visit http://bookpromotionservices.com/2010/07/02/unexpected-son-virtual-tour/

Certified in Intimacy

There are many misconceptions about what intimacy really is – and I recently completed a fantastic course on Intimacy at Loveology University. That is one of the courses in the “Certified Romantic Course”.

Throughout the relationships I’ve had – there was only one where I felt true intimacy and at the time I didn’t realize why that relationship felt so much deeper and more meaningful. It was the most safe and loved I ever felt. Now – I understand and I want to find that again. So – let me share some of the things I learned.

Let’s start by breaking down the word intimacy and look at it phonetically. Into-Me-See. In sounds very inviting doesn’t it? When you get into something, it means you really want to be there, right?

What about Me See? You’re saying “This is ME. SEE me, all of me, because I have nothing to hide.” It’s like having a long zipper from your head to your toes, opening it and saying “Here I am.”

Intimacy is about getting rid of protective layers and facades by revealing yourself to someone you truly love.

The 12 C’s of Intimacy - How many of these do you have in your relationship?

  • Communication
  • Chemistry
  • Curiousity
  • Contentment
  • Collaboration
  • Courage
  • Commitment
  • Copulation
  • Creativity
  • Consideration
  • Contribution
  • Celebration

These are the types of intimacy

  • Emotional
  • Spirirtual
  • Intellectual
  • Sexual
  • Physical

Men and women experience intimacy in different ways and these are explained in full detail. This includes 10 Tips on How to Make Your Man or Woman Love You. This course goes into full detail about each of the types of intimacy, how to find that intimacy and how to develop that intimacy with your partner. There are 20 intimacy exercises included in the course that you can do with your partner – they are all enjoyable and help you develop greater intimacy

This information is just a peek inside the depth of this course. As I was finishing the quiz for this course I realized that I want to go through this course with anyone that I want a long term relationship with – we would both benefit from the information and the relationship would certainly be improved.

Some of the Topics in the Intimacy Certification Course

  • What is Intimacy?
  • Erogenous Zones
  • Kinds of Intimacy
  • 5 Steps to Intimacy
  • Communication
  • Looking for Intimacy
  • Intimacy Rules
  • Types of Love
  • Triangular Theory of Love
  • Intimacy not Sex
  • 20 Intimate Exercises
  • Romance and Intimacy
  • Intimate Ideas
Intimacy
This Course Is For You If:

  • You want to Know the Definition of Intimacy
  • You want to Learn the 5 Steps to Achieving Intimacy
  • You want to Discover How Intimacy can Result in Better Sex
  • You want to Take Your Relationship to a More Intimate Level
Welcome to Loveology University’s Intimacy Certification Course. Discover what the term intimacy really means to men vs. women and the steps necessary to achieve it. How to go from dating to intimacy is high on many couples list of things to learn and this is one place you can get all the answers. Additionally, you’ll find out why we need intimacy in our lives, the various kinds of intimacy and the benefits of an intimate relationship. If you think of the word intimacy phonetically, In Two or Too Me See, you’ll realize just how insightful this word is and how powerful it can be between two people. Once you’ve made the decision to be intimate with someone, there’s no going back so you’ll ascertain whether someone is worthy of your intimacy and how to help them become intimate with you. This is truly an intimate experience that will improve the quality of your love life.
Course Price: $69.95

http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=33&a_aid=litekepr