Pros and Cons of Sexual Fantasies

Most people would admit to having some kind of fantasy. How many of those would admit to having sexual fantasies? Maybe its those fleeting thoughts as the waiter in the tight black pants walks by your table carrying a pitcher dripping with cold water as you hear the ice cube clink against the glass. Or, maybe it’s the perky and flirty co-ed from the local coffee shop who always gives you an extra squirt for free and leans over a little too far when she hands you the change. We’ve all been there – whether we are likely to admit it to anyone else. But, do you admit it to yourself?

Who fantasizes about whom? Do you ever sit in a group with your friends and wonder who and what they fantasize about? As a rule:

Women fantasize about a person or people they have been involved with at some time – emotionally, romantically or sexually. On the other hand, men fantasize about people they would like to have sex with or just various sexual acts. However – both men and women usually include the person’s face in their fantasy. We all know how expressive a lover’s face can be – no wonder people want to include faces and facial expressions when they fantasize. Another similarity with men and women’s fantasies – is the inclusion of “taboo” partners.

Like everything in life – there are pros and cons to fantasizing. Here are a few of each – what would you include?


  • Improve communication with your partner
  • Be playful and spontaneous
  • Add spice and variety to your love life
  • Create new ideas with your partner
  • Move outside your usual comfort zone
  • Shake things up with your partner
  • Identify and stretch your sexual and relationship boundaries


  • Guilt or shame – even if irrational concerns
  • Being hooked on fantasies and letting them over shadow your reality
  • Pushing past your partner’s boundaries
  • Use fantasies to avoid a real relationship or to avoid your partner
  • Hurting yourself or hurting other people through your fantasies
  • Using fantasies against yourself or your partner

Fantasies can be a great way to spice up your love life and to discover new and exciting things for you and your partner. However, you want to avoid using fantasies against your partner or to push a partner to do something they are not comfortable with and do not want to do. Bottom line – fantasies should be enjoyable, fun and safe.

For much more information about Sexual Fantasies – check out the Loveology Club. Sexual Fantasies are just one of the information packed courses that you can get in the club. Click here for more details.

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