Maintain or Improve Love For Yourself in Heartbreak and Crisis – Part One

When we are suffering a heartache, regardless of what has caused it, our minds tend to be ruled by our heart. Although we may have experienced many emotional crises in our life, each new crisis feels like the first time as each new heartache is brand new to us, we have not done this one before, it is a first. Emotions we never experienced before race through our bodies making us weak and vulnerable. We feel as if we will not make it through the day let alone the next few minutes without breaking down.

There are many stages of we must go through before we can start to accept our heart aches and move on from it and unfortunately we have no choice but to endure each stage.  These stages range from very low to extreme highs. It would be fantastic if we were able to control our emotions and skip right to recovery….but if we could do this we would not gain the wisdom or the new found strength and love we find for our selves that comes with surviving the trauma we are going through.

We swing through the emotions when they first come upon us, first we feel them, then the tears start to fall, then we start telling our selves to stop, and the next thing we know we are in a full blown emotional breakdown and we cannot, no matter how hard we try to convince our selves, we cannot stop the wave of unbelievable sadness that is moving through us.

To me, the worst parts are the self doubts and fearful feelings I cannot control.

“What’s wrong with me? What did I do? What could I have done differently to prevent this from happening?” Just a few questions we ask ourselves and the first one… “What’s wrong with me?” is the one that I had to address first.

“There is nothing wrong with me,” that is the answer. But why couldn’t I control the situation and prevent the crisis from happening? Because…we are only in control of ourselves. We make conscious decisions everyday that affect us and those we love and most of us believe they are the right decisions. When someone else is making decisions that affect us in an adverse way it is out of our control, we can only respond to their decisions and when we are in disbelief that this has happened to us it is difficult to take the steps to move on….but we must if we ever want to truly laugh again.

I felt insecure, not worthy, I devalued myself because of someone else’s decisions and I had to find a way to bring myself back to a place where I felt worthy and find a way to pick my self esteem up off the floor. This was not easy because I was emotionally beat up and bruised, but I was determined because deep down…I knew I was worth it!

So this is what I have done to help myself and continue to do.

In the next post, I’ll share my favorite tips…. here,

For more information about Unfinished by Suzanne Gravelle, visit and you can follow her journey on her blog –

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