Its Good to Take it Slow

How long does it take you to fall in love? Is faster better – or are there legitimate reasons to take it slow. Read on to find out.

It takes the average person a mere 1/5th of a second to fall in love, according to a recent international survey. But as many have argued in the past, love at first sight (or lust at first sight in most instances) doesn’t guarantee a long lasting relationship. And before you start to fantasize about the wedding and what your kids will look like, you need to make sure you get to know each other properly before you make any kind of commitment—including exclusivity or marriage—because if you don’t, it can lead to problems in the relationship later on. But how do you know when it’s the best time to move forward or pump the breaks? Below are some common signs to watch out before you decide to make a commitment.

No Mystery. Let it be known that in a healthy relationship, information is revealed gradually over time. The more you trust that person, the more likely you are to tell them your secrets and intimate details about your life. But if your date immediately pours his or her heart out on the first date (revealing everything that there is to know) and demands that you to do the same, this might suggest that he or she is attempting to speed the whole process up by creating a pseudo level of intimacy.

Instant Soulmates. While it is indeed possible to have a strong connection with someone very early on, you should be cautious if your date expresses that the two of you are destined to be together when you know very well you’ve hardly spent any time together.

Mixed Emotions. If you have any level of uncertainty, including feelings of suspicion, self-doubt or anxieties when around your date, then you should really consider evaluating the relationship a bit closer before pursuing it any further. Why do you feel suspicious? Does he or she seem untrustworthy or not the monogamous type?  Why do you feel anxious? Does your date verbally attack you or make you feel bad about yourself? Make sure that you take notice of the early signs—these small details might not seem like a huge issue in the beginning but they can be very damaging once in a committed relationship.

Self-fulfillment.  Some have a tendency to feel “incomplete” if they do not have an exclusive partner.  But if you are part of this group let it be said that while this feeling of “incompleteness” might be the reason you rush into a committed and exclusive relationship, the best relationships occur when both parties are happy with themselves first. So just make sure that if you do decide to commit, it’s not because you are trying to fill a void.


This guest post is contributed by Vanessa Jones, who writes on the topics of dating sites.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id:


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