Anal sex is still considered taboo by many people – for some people this is more of a turn on, for others that is a turn off. Whether you enjoy anal sex, want to give it a try or are just curious, read on for the steps to anal pleasure.
Anal penetration is not for everyone and that’s fine. Your partner may enjoy digital penetration, anal beads or a small dildo or vibrator. You need to respect your partner’s limitations and boundaries. Some people really enjoy anal play – but others do not.
Anal sex is becoming more acceptable and likely people you know are enjoying anal pleasure, whether they admit it to you or not. Let’s start with some basics. What are some reasons why people enjoy anal sex –
Reasons Why Some People Like Anal Sex
- “It feels good.”
- “I can’t get pregnant.”
- “It’s an alternative when I have my period.”
- “Vaginal sex is painful.”
- “I like double penetration.”
- “It is deeper than my mouth or vagina.”
- “I like the variety.”
- “I tried it and liked it.”
- “It is tighter.”
Prepare Yourself for Anal Play
For people who are leery of experimenting with anal play with your partner, you can try some of these tips on your own. When you are in the shower and when you’re participating in some self-love – you can test the waters to see if you may enjoy it. When you are bathing or showering and cleaning your anus – you can test a few things.
Use a clean hand to stroke your penis or your clitoris – depending on whether you’re a man or a woman. This will distract you and prompt feelings of stimulation which you can then associate with anal play.
Tense and tighten your anus – then let go. Repeat this several times while you continue to masturbate.
Take the opportunity to play with your anus in the bath or shower. Touch the area around your anus, maybe stroke the opening, and you may slip your finger in a little bit to see how it feels.
Massaging around the anal area with or without any plan to penetrate the anus will let you enjoy the pleasurable feelings without the apprehension of penetration. Any time you massage any part of the body, use massage oil or lube. This enhances the pleasure and reduces friction.
Using genital and anal play at the same time – can create a distraction and also enhance or double your potential pleasure.
Never rush the play – whether you’re playing by yourself or with a partner. Take your time. I recommend pushing your normal boundaries and experimenting, but if you truly don’t enjoy something, you should stop.
An anal tip – even with plenty of lube, you are likely to have some discomfort. Once the penetration passes a certain point, you can sense a very pleasurable feeling. With fingers and toys, you can also experiment with various size items, or only 1 or 2 fingers at first. Ease into it – literally and be patient. This is a reason why I recommend experimenting on your own before playing with a partner.
Anal Play Tips with Your Partner
Let’s start with a couple of facts – never rush your partner into something they aren’t comfortable doing. And, never do something that makes you uncomfortable just to please your partner. This is one of the many places in a relationship where you need open and honest communication. Once you decide that you are both ready for anal play, here are some tips.
Never Insist on Penetration – You don’t have to penetrate the anus to generate pleasurable sensations for your partner or yourself. Rubbing the anus with your fingers, the head of the penis, a toy or a tongue (known as rimming) – can all create great sensations. This can be a great start for people who are skittish about anal penetration.
Create Good Feelings – Like I mentioned above, anal sex can hurt and especially at first. But I’m very serious that it doesn’t have to hurt. Plenty of lube is a key – and there are specific lubes for anal play. Another key is to make sure he or she are relaxed and calm. It the person receiving anal play is tense, it will hurt more. Never take the “rip off the bandaid” approach. Shoving your fingers, a toy or a penis in quickly will not alleviate the pain and is likely to turn your partner off to the idea of future play.
Anal Play and Other Play at the Same Time – Like I mentioned above – its good to play with your partner’s anus while you’re doing something else with them. You may want to give your partner oral sex while you massage their anus with your finger or the tip of a toy – can be a great way to show them the possible pleasure, while you please other parts of their body. Multitasking is a great thing in life and definitely when having sex and making love. Never do this to trick your partner, but to begin to experiment with their agreement. Many women enjoy double penetration – and you can give her a taste of this sensation during intercourse with two people or one person and a toy.
Diet and Hygiene – Not to get graphic, but there are some things you need to consider to make your anal play more enjoyable and healthy. Eating fiber and raw vegetables will keep your bodily functions more regular, and this will help you be more confident about no “slip ups” during anal sex. Enemas can also be beneficial and especially for people who want to participate in anilingus and rimming – since these include oral contact around the anus. When engaging in any type of anal play, remember to clean your hands, penis, toys etc – when moving from the anus to the vagina. You can use a washcloth, a baby wipe, a different condom etc – but it is very important for her to stay healthy.
I hope these tips help you find ways to experiment and enjoy anal play – solo or with a partner. Remember, keep it fun and enjoyable for you and your partner and take your time to have the most fun.
Would you like to speak to someone about sexual questions in your life? Feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org – I am a relationship coach and a Master Sexpert and can help people with a wide variety of love, relationship, and sexual problems and concerns.