I originally wrote this article 7 years ago today, but the message is still timely and I wanted to share it again today. I’d love to hear your thoughts or having deeper connection with your lover. And what do you think about also being friends with a lover?
Have you ever had a friendship and sexual relationship with someone who touched you on a much deeper level? I’m talking about MORE than just touching, stroking, licking, sucking, etc. I’m not belittling those activities which are all wonderful, but I want you to go deeper.
- When we feel a connection that allows us to be ourselves – no need to pretend to be anyone else and we can connect with a person in a wonderful way.
- When we are allowed to experiment and just “go with” our impulses and feelings – we can reach deep into the being of another person.
- When we accept a person and let them act on their impulses and feelings – we draw them into our life in a great way.
If you are the sort of person who only connects sexually through the mechanics of what to put where – you are missing a wonderful and highly satisfying side of sex. However, this sort of relationship is not possible with everyone.
Are you “free” to be yourself with your lover? Is your lover “free” to be themselves with you? If not – you should give it a try. Exploring the depth of your connection can bring the friendship and sex to a level that you may not even be able to imagine at this moment. With the right sort of person who loves and respects you — this can be a very liberating and highly satisfying experience for each of you.
This can be especially difficult the first time with a new lover. Even if you have an incredible connection with them – taking things to a physical level for the dreaded first time can make things awkward between you. Certainly this doesn’t happen to everyone, but it can impact the experience with some people. The good news is that the first time nerves should be gone the next time you’re together. I’d love to say all you need to do it tell yourself its okay and the nerves will stop – but I know better than that. So, be patient with a new lover and understand its no reflection on whether they care about you or whether they want you – it could be a sign of just how much they want you…
Give it a try and I’d love to hear what you think.
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