It seems that many men are fascinated with group sex, in particular, sex
with two or more women at a time. But more women are expressing an interest in threesomes and/or group sex. So what exactly is “group sex”?
Technically group sex includes sex with 3, 4, 5, or more people. There are more mouths, more hands, more arms, more legs – but there is also more need to communicate, more need to for coordination, more feelings, more baggage…. Not to bring you down, but there are many things to consider about group sex.
Let’s start at the beginning, these are some of the reasons to add another person or more people:
- To get more attention
- The opportunity to show off your skills
- Experiment with bisexuality
- Simply for some variety
- As a way to get variety without the need to lie or cheat
- Because you’re curious
- Be a voyeur and watch someone please your partner
- The chance to learn new skills
- Get past the usual social programming
- Explore and learn more about yourself
- Experiment with new sexual activities
- Learn new ways to love and please your partner
- Live out a fantasy
Society, friends, family, religion and other outside forces may say group sex is wrong, but honestly, if you’re an adult, if every one is a consenting adult and no one gets hurt, you can do what you want.
One of the biggest issues I’ve noticed when talking to people about group sex – is their fear. This can be jealousy, insecurity for a variety of reasons, feel that its wrong, uncomfortable because it pushes their personal sexual boundaries.
No matter how great the fantasy, you need to have an honest conversation with your partner before you approach someone about joining you. Neither person should ever agree just to please the other – any sexual act you participate in, should be done because you want to do it. Threesomes and group sex definitely fall into that category.
A relationship can be ruined for many reasons, but group sex can definitely be a contributing factor. Here is a scenario – a couple had talked since the time they dated about having another woman have sex with them. The man wanted to be with two women and to watch them together. The woman was bi-curious and wanted to be with a woman and it was less pressure to do it with her husband. They finally found a woman and asked her to spend the night with them. The husband and wife were both friends with the other woman and she didn’t know it, but the wife had a crush on her.
So, they felt they discussed all the important things before hand and they got together several times to test their physical boundaries and everything seemed fine. Then the night came and they eventually went to the bedroom. They were a little awkward at first, but everyone loosened up and there was plenty of kissing, fondling, hands and mouths roaming from person to person, things seemed to be going fine.
The husband and wife had intercourse and the wife clearly wanted to leave the other woman out and basically laid still while her husband made love to her. So, the other woman stayed to the side. The wife got up and left the room a little later. When she returned, the husband had his arm around the other woman, talking to her. Nothing sexual was going on, although they were nude, but the wife abruptly decided it was time for everyone to get out of bed.
The three of them were together one more time after that. Shortly, each of the relationships deteriorated, and the couple eventually divorced. This couple had talked about a threesome for years, but still weren’t ready for the emotional repercussions.
These are a few of the negative reasons to participate in a threesome – are any of these the reason why you would be in a threesome? If so, you really should reconsider.
- Win back a partner
- Please a partner
- Hurt a partner
- Fear of intimacy
- Fear of commitment
- Want the rush of being in a new relationship
So – if you are one of the men or women who fantasizes about being in a threesome, or foursome or any other configuration of group sex, why do you want to have sex with multiple people at once and what would you do to prepare yourself and your partner? Or, would you be the other man or other woman in the scenario? If you would be joining a couple, what should you do before agreeing to join in?
If you would like to learn much more about group sex, check back for more articles or you can simply enter your email in the top left corner to subscribe to my blog.