Threesomes – Is It Right For You and Your Partner

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It seems that many men are fascinated with group sex, in particular, sex
with two or more women
at a time. But more women are expressing an interest in threesomes and/or group sex. So what exactly is “group sex”?

Technically group sex includes sex with 3, 4, 5, or more people. There are more mouths, more hands, more arms, more legs – but there is also more need to communicate, more need to for coordination, more feelings, more baggage…. Not to bring you down, but there are many things to consider about group sex.

Let’s start at the beginning, these are some of the reasons to add another person or more people:

  • To get more attention
  • The opportunity to show off your skills
  • Experiment with bisexuality
  • Simply for some variety
  • As a way to get variety without the need to lie or cheat
  • Because you’re curious
  • Be a voyeur and watch someone please your partner
  • The chance to learn new skills
  • Get past the usual social programming
  • Explore and learn more about yourself
  • Experiment with new sexual activities
  • Learn new ways to love and please your partner
  • Live out a fantasy

Society, friends, family, religion and other outside forces may say group sex is wrong, but honestly, if you’re an adult, if every one is a consenting adult and no one gets hurt, you can do what you want.

One of the biggest issues I’ve noticed when talking to people about group sex – is their fear. This can be jealousy, insecurity for a variety of reasons, feel that its wrong, uncomfortable because it pushes their personal sexual boundaries.

No matter how great the fantasy, you need to have an honest conversation with your partner before you approach someone about joining you. Neither person should ever agree just to please the other – any sexual act you participate in, should be done because you want to do it. Threesomes and group sex definitely fall into that category.

A relationship can be ruined for many reasons, but group sex can definitely be a contributing factor. Here is a scenario – a couple had talked since the time they dated about having another woman have sex with them. The man wanted to be with two women and to watch them together. The woman was bi-curious and wanted to be with a woman and it was less pressure to do it with her husband. They finally found a woman and asked her to spend the night with them. The husband and wife were both friends with the other woman and she didn’t know it, but the wife had a crush on her.

So, they felt they discussed all the important things before hand and they got together several times to test their physical boundaries and everything seemed fine. Then the night came and they eventually went to the bedroom. They were a little awkward at first, but everyone loosened up and there was plenty of kissing, fondling, hands and mouths roaming from person to person, things seemed to be going fine.

The husband and wife had intercourse and the wife clearly wanted to leave the other woman out and basically laid still while her husband made love to her. So, the other woman stayed to the side. The wife got up and left the room a little later. When she returned, the husband had his arm around the other woman, talking to her. Nothing sexual was going on, although they were nude, but the wife abruptly decided it was time for everyone to get out of bed.

The three of them were together one more time after that. Shortly, each of the relationships deteriorated, and the couple eventually divorced. This couple had talked about a threesome for years, but still weren’t ready for the emotional repercussions.

These are a few of the negative reasons to participate in a threesome – are any of these the reason why you would be in a threesome? If so, you really should reconsider.

  • Win back a partner
  • Please a partner
  • Hurt a partner
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Fear of commitment
  • Want the rush of being in a new relationship

So – if you are one of the men or women who fantasizes about being in a threesome, or foursome or any other configuration of group sex, why do you want to have sex with multiple people at once and what would you do to prepare yourself and your partner? Or, would you be the other man or other woman in the scenario? If you would be joining a couple, what should you do before agreeing to join in?

If you would like to learn much more about group sex, check back for more articles or you can simply enter your email in the top left corner to subscribe to my blog.

Master the Perfect Kiss and Give Your Partner a Great Gift

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For many years, guys and gals growing up getting their sex cues from Hollywood romances didn’t have a clue about how to kiss. That changed with more realistic kisses coming to the movies, but now the pendulum has gone beyond that point with most movie kisses looking like the two combatants are consuming each other for lunch.

This has caused more than a few folks to fail to understand how a kiss should work, and what methods might be employed to arouse the ardor in a lover with a simple kiss.

Unlike today’s movies, you shouldn’t jump into your lover’s mouth like a high-speed chase through a tunnel. Instead, build her anticipation by kissing all around her face. Begin your kiss slowly and gently with emotion and sensitivity.

First, kiss without using your tongue, slightly open mouthed, with sweet breath. Only after this initial modest kiss should you start to get serious, and only when your lover indicates that she’s ready for more (usually by using her tongue or by opening her mouth more widely to invite your tongue in).

From this point, there are a variety of ways you can continue this interplay:

  • Take your lover’s bottom lip between the two of yours and suck gently.
  • Trace the outline of your lover’s lips with the tip of your tongue.
  • While kissing, lick you lover’s teeth with your tongue.
  • To increase sexual excitement, make your kiss wet.
  • Wrap your lips around your lover’s tongue and suck passionately.
  • Use hot or cold liquids to create erotic sensations.
  • Kissing her eyelids and ears.

The key to success in all this is to go slowly, and to keep things modest especially with the first few kisses. Be sure to follow your lover’s kissing techniques and emulate them. Little by little the two of you will learn what works best.

Then put your knowledge to good use, bringing her slowly closer to consummating your encounter.

Self Confidence Makes You a Great Lover

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Love is a beautiful emotion, a gift given to a chosen few. Not everybody get lots of love in his or her lifetime. However, many times lovers mess it up and don’t appreciate the gift they were given. They are unable to meet each other’s expectations by growing too possessive, by being too shy, by being unnecessarily skeptical and on and on!

Most of the time, the culprit is within ourselves. It makes us perceive things, especially potential problems, as being much bigger than they actually are and makes us overreact to events that could have been easily avoided. We find it is much easier to tear something down, than to build something – especially when it comes to the matters of the heart. An ignorant and careless person is vulnerable to losing a lot, including his or her life partner. Read on for information about simple things that will keep you from hurting your partner and keep your love life blossoming.  Here are some habits of self-confident lovers.

Are Not Jealous

If you are jealous of your partner, this is a sure indication that the foundations of love are not deep enough to withstand the wear and tear of time. Self confident lovers consider their partners as an extension of their own selves and feel happy if somebody has something good to say about their partners.

There is no “yours” or “mine” in their relationship. It’s always “ours,” which forms the basis of their love. Most people get embarrassed, sceptical or annoyed when comments like this are made about their partner – “Your girl is so beautiful” or “Your boyfriend has a talent of impressing girls.” However, a confident man would say, “Yes. I know she is so beautiful and I’m very proud to be in love with her,” while a self-confident girl will shoot back – “Yes. He impressed me too!” Remember your individual qualities are a combined “quality pool” belonging to you both, and both partners must treat is as an asset. This is only possible when both of you are confident of each other’s love and commitment.

Are More Forgiving

Self-confident people are able to maintain a cool and calm composure in the times of crisis. They are able to analyze situations and to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. This allows them to see their partner’s viewpoint and understand their behavior. In many instances, our partner’s behavior annoys us. People who lack self-confidence will make us think negatively and to doubt ourselves or our partners. On the other hand, self-confident lovers believe in “forgive and forget” and can move on.

Make Your Partner More Secure and Comfortable

In a relationship, looks matter to a point, but the characteristics that matter even more are a sensible and rational nature, a sense of humor, the ability to handle tough situations and more. Self-confident lovers are a great place to look for these qualities. Their self confidence is contagious and they are often promising professionals as well. They enjoy respect and camaraderie, and nurture positive and constructive thoughts. They seem to have the ability to push away or resolve problems and provide for their family. A self-confident lover makes us feel secure, comfortable and makes life worth living!

Give Your Partner the Gift of Independence!

Sometimes instead of love liberating us, it actually binds us. If you have a possessive partner, they want to have all the details of our lives. Who do you work with? Who was that person who called at 7 am? Why do you want a personal car? Why do you wear makeup every time you go out? Why are you wearing that dress at this hour…and on and on!

Love, which can be the most beautiful emotion in our lives, will seem to fill us with hope and enthusiasm, but over time can drain out all the energy from us. You feel like you are strapped to someone, answerable to someone and tethered so you have limited mobility. Love can start to feel like bondage. Self-confident lovers understand the importance of independence. They let their partner fly and soar great heights, because they know at the end of the day, they will return to their partners’ arms.


Create a Deeper Connection with Your Lover

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Have you ever had a friendship and sexual relationship with someone who touched you on a much deeper level? I’m talking about MORE than just touching, stroking, licking, sucking, etc  🙂

  • When we feel a connection that allows us to be ourself – no need to pretend to be anyone else – we can connect with a person in a wonderful way.
  • When we are allowed to experiment and just “go with” our impulses and feelings – we can reach deep into the being of another person.
  • When we accept a person and let them act on their impulses and feelings – we draw them into our life in a great way.

If you are the sort of person who only connects sexually through the mechanics of what to put where – you are missing a wonderful and highly satisfying side of sex. However, this sort of relationship is not possible with everyone.

Are you “free” to be yourself with your lover? Is your lover “free” to be themselves with you? If not – you should give it a try. Exploring the depth of your connection can bring the friendship and sex to a level that you may not even be able to imagine at this moment. With the right sort of person who loves and respects you — this can be a very liberating and highly satisfying experience for each of you.

This can be especially difficult the first time with a new lover. Even if you have an incredible connection with them – taking things to a physical level for the dreaded first time can make things awkward between you. Certainly this doesn’t happen to everyone, but it can impact the experience with some people. The good news is that the first time nerves should be gone the next time you’re together. I’d love to say all you need to do it tell yourself its okay and the nerves will stop – but I know better than that. So, be patient with a new lover and understand its no reflection on whether they care about you or whether they want you – it could be a sign of just how much they want you

Give it a try and I’d love to hear what you think.

Why Do Women Have Sex

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I read an interesting article on regarding a new book.

Why Women Have Sex

By Alyssa Fetini Tuesday, Oct. 06, 2009

While figuring out what women want has stumped men for centuries, understanding how they think about sex may have just gotten easier. Cindy Meston and David Buss, psychologists at the University of Texas, interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book Why Women Have Sex and managed to come up with 237 reasons, ranging from the predictable — commitment — to the puzzling — curing a headache. Spoiler alert: love may be further down on the list than one might think. TIME spoke to Buss about the myriad mind games, turn-ons and turn-offs involved in female sexuality, and what a guy can do to stand a chance.

You co-authored a famous 2007 study “Why Humans Have Sex.” Why focus on women this time around?
We discovered that women’s sexual psychology turned out to be far more complex than we envisioned. [It] deserved an entire book-length treatment. (See photos: “The Best of the Bond Girls”)

What differences between men and women did you notice?
There are important gender differences in sexuality, but these must be interpreted within the context of a high level of similarity. Both women and men have sex because they are physically attracted to the person, for pure pleasure, because they are in love, or simply because they are horny. But within the overall similarity, I’d say women’s sexuality tends to be more linked with love and emotional bonding. Women, more than men, like sex when there’s some kind of emotional connection. Men were more likely to have sex simply because the opportunity presented itself. Women tend to be pickier, especially for short-term sexual encounters. And men are more motivated to have sex to boost their status among their peers, although some women in our study also had sex for precisely this reason. (Read more about the chemistry of desire.)

What are the main reasons why women have sex?
The most frequent reasons include: sexual attraction to the person, the desire for physical pleasure, to express affection, to express their love for a person or because they were sexually aroused and wanted release.

Other important reasons are to boost their self-esteem or sexual esteem, to get revenge, to secure “mate insurance” in case a partner dumps them, to relieve pain, to achieve health benefits such as getting rid of a headache — yes, it works — to decrease stress, to lose weight and as a sleep aid. We devote one chapter to “sexual economics,” which focuses on all the ways in which women have sex as an exchange for other benefits, such as getting her partner to take out the garbage, securing free dinners or getting expensive gifts. We also devote one chapter to what we call “the dark side” of women’s sexuality — when women have sex because they were deceived, coerced or forced into it. (See photos: “Same-Sex Overtures Across Species”)

Any particularly surprising findings?
I was surprised by the importance of revenge. A few had sex in order to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease. More commonly, women’s revenge sex involved getting back at a cheating partner, or having sex with the partner of a friend who had poached her partner. Actually, the frequency of mate-poaching also surprised me — the frequency with which women try to lure men who are already “taken,” either for a short-term sexual liaison or a longer-term relationship. Most women have experienced mate-poaching in one form or another, either as the mate poacher or as the victim.

How does evolution explain some of these complexities?
Sexual attraction often boils down to what Darwin called “female choice.” Modern women are the descendants of a long and unbroken line of ancestral mothers who made wise sexual choices. As descendants of these successful women, modern women carry with them the sexual psychology — the ancestral wisdom — that led to the success of their female forebears. So women find cues to health, status and protection to be sexually attractive. These are all qualities that led to better survival and reproductive outcomes.(Read about teen girls and sex.)

On the competition side, evolution by selection is an inherently competitive process. It’s a cliché that “the good men are all taken, permanent bachelors or gay.” And there’s some truth to this. The number of truly desirable and available men is limited. So women are in sexual competition with other women for access to the most desirable men. Modern women are the descendants of ancestral mothers who succeeded in besting other women in these sexual competitions.

What physical features do women tend to find most attractive in men?
Body is important to women. Women are sexually attracted to men with a V-shaped torso, or a high shoulder-to-hip ratio, and men who are taller than average. Interestingly, women do not like muscle-bound men, and men misperceive how muscular women want them to be. The face is also critical. A symmetrical face is a health cue, as are a good head of hair and masculine features such a strong jaw and a deep voice. Women generally don’t find feminine-looking or feminine-sounding men to be sexually attractive.

What advice could you give to the men out there not blessed with Michael Phelps’ torso and George Clooney’s face? What can they do to stay in the game?

Have good hygiene. Sense of smell is critical. A man who smells bad, or who has bad breath — that can be a sexual kill switch for women. Interestingly, women have a keener sense of smell than men, so men are sometimes oblivious to how bad they smell to women. A man’s scent conveys critical information to women about a man’s health status.

The other thing to note about what women find sexually attractive centers on cues that convey personality, sense of humor, self-confidence and social status. These things can transform an average-looking man into a sexually attractive man in the minds of many women.

This article was posted at,8599,1928189,00.html?xid=newsletter-weekly

Kiss Your Partner’s Face and Neck

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I have to admit that I love kissing – deep kisses that take your breath away kissing. So – the idea of writing a couple of articles about the many places on the body and the ways to kiss those areas is very appealing to me. This is the first of those articles.

These were the results of an informal survey that I did about where people like to be kissed -these are the areas that we’ll discuss in this post –

  • Kissing, Licking & Sucking the Ears, the Earlobes and Around the Ears 5%
  • Kissing, Licking & Sucking Along and Below the Jaw 7%
  • Kissing, Licking and Sucking Any Area of the Neck 22%

I’m going to save the kissing of the arms and legs and the more intimate areas for another post. I should mention that in my poll, kissing the neck was the second favor spot.

The Neck – Let’s definitely start with the neck. The back of the neck along the hairline, the side of the neck starting just below the earlobe, the front of the neck where you can feel your lover’s heartbeat as your kiss them — this is definitely a great place to start kissing. A number of women mentioned they turn to jello in their man’s hands when he kisses her neck. Definitely a great place to start, whether you’re lying next to each other or you come up behind her when she’s cooking or washing dishes. How about coming up behind her as she’s washing dishes and reach around her waist as you kiss her neck? I bet the dishwater will get cold while things heat up for you. You can kiss the neck, trace your tongue along various parts of the neck, and some people want to leave a mark on their lover by creating a hickey by sucking on their neck. That is totally up to the two of you.

The Ears – Let’s move to the ears – maybe start by sucking the earlobe, play with your tongue just inside the ear (but do this quietly so that it doesn’t turn the person off), trace your tongue along the outer edge of the ear. The ear is also a wonderful spot to nibble – not biting or anything rough (unless that’s what you both want), but tantalizing nibbling can be a lot of fun and very stimulating.

The Top of the Head and The Hair – How about kissing the top of the head and the person’s hair? What about kissing the top of their head when they are bald? Maybe leaving the faint trace of your lipstick on his head or kissing her along the hairline.

Eyebrows – Have you considered kissing your lovers eyebrows? Tracing them with your tongue and tickling that spot above the nose and between the eyebrows.

The Nose – This isn’t just for Eskimos.  Have you kissed your lover’s nose? Planting a tender kiss on the tip of their nose and looking deep into their eyes while kissing them. Or, give them a simple Eskimo kiss to let them know you want to heat things up or maybe have some adult play in the snow on a crisp winter day.

The Cheeks – The cheeks on your partner’s face – we’ll talk about the other cheeks later 🙂 This can be an innocent peck on the cheek or a playful kiss. You can also start with a peck on the cheek and move to the ear or the neck – lots of possibilities.

The Mouth – Hmmmm, notice I didn’t start with the mouth. It can be so much more fun to work your way to your lover’s mouth. Kissing the neck, nibble the jaw, suck their earlobe and leave them gasping or moaning by the time you reach their mouth. There are so many options when kissing the mouth, its hard to know where to start. You can have your mouth open or closed, you can use your tongue or not, you can alternate these things just for a little variety. What about kissing with your mouth open and exchanging breath with your partner in the final moments before you climax? Haven’t tried that? You should!

Here are a few tips to a great kiss – but include plenty of spontaneity and simply see where the moment leads you…..

  • Take your partner’s face in your hands and move closer – start with gentle kisses around the face
  • With your mouth slightly open, kiss their lips – no tongue at this point – start gentle and tender
  • Your partner will signal when he/she is ready for your tongue, usually by opening their mouth more or touching your lips with their tongue – always be aware of how your partner is reacting to the things you do
  • You can trace their lips with your tongue – and you can see if they “let you in”
  • At some point in the kiss, it can be enjoyable to gently suck their lip or some people prefer to suck their lover’s tongue, similar to the way you would during oral sex. Wrap your lips around their tongue and suck it passionately – its a great sensation.
  • Kisses are good when they are hot and wet – this doesn’t mean sloppy wet (unless that is your preference), but definitely not dry. I’ve only kissed one man with a dry mouth – and only on one date. There are reasons for that 🙂
  • For some different sensations, drink something hot or cold, suck on an ice cube, suck on a peppermint or something similar to give your partner a different taste and feel as you kiss them.

07-16-15-KissingReportThat’s a good start. What body parts will be next? You’ll have to check back and see.

So – what did I miss? What tips or locations would you add around the head and neck? Let’s stay in that area for now and will move to another part of the body next.

If you would like to see all my kissing tips – literally from head to toe – check out my information packed e-book “How to Kiss from Head to Toe” –

To see more about the kissing certification course I took for my love coach training, visit this page –

From Adventurer Alone in Alaska to Cosmo Bachelor on Ready for Love Radio

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On this podcast I am going to introduce you to an adventurer and scientist who spent 18 months alone in Alaska. We talk about his adventure in the wilds of Alaska and the wild adventures he found when he got back to civilization… This is the message he sent to entice me to have him as a guest on Ready for Love Radio

While living on a wilderness island in the Inside Passage of Alaska for years in isolation, studying
Michael-Modzelewski the wildlife (no female companionship), I wrote my first book, INSIDE PASSAGE: LIVING WITH BALD EAGLES, KILLER WHALES AND KWAKIUTL INDIANS. It was published by HarperCollins in NYC. Unbeknownst to me, Cosmopolitan Magazine, the best-selling women’s magazine in the world (in 100 countries; translated into 87 languages) chose me as one of their “Bachelors of The Month” and eventually “Man of The Year.” At the same time, AlaskaMen Magazine made me their centerfold story (I got a staple in my navel but got to keep my parka on : ) I went from famine to feast — from no dates in the Alaska wilderness to 5,000 letters from women around the world. I dated many, and that is how I eventually met my wife. It’s Everyman’s Fantasy with a Happy Ending.

Tune in Thursdays at 6 pm Pacific/9 pm Eastern to hear the show.

Listen at 

If you happened to miss the show – click the MP3 player below to hear the interview.

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To get a bit of a preview – check out this video from an interview he did and find out what happened after he got all those letters….

10 Reasons to Kiss Your Partner….

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Ten Reasons to Kiss Your Mate  

  1. Kissing lowers stress.
  2. Kissing burns calories.
  3. Kissing helps you look younger.
  4. Kissing can lift your spirits.
  5. Kissing is meditative.
  6. Kissing strengthens your marriage.
  7. Kissing builds desire.
  8. Kissing releases Oxytocin
  9. Kissing is free.
  10. 10. Kissing increases love and passion in your marriage.

Senior Citizens Get Health Benefits From Active Sex Life

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An active sex life into your 60’s and beyond can benefit your overall health. There are plenty of statistics which show this can encourage a person to live a very healthy lifestyle. For many people, they will be more concerned about their overall appearance and they eat better and exercise more.

Many individuals engaging in sex when they are over 60 are also more concerned with their overall health. This means they are willing to keep their appointments for annual check ups. They also do what the doctor recommends in regards to taking medications and to making changes to their daily habits.

The topic has become more of an issue in our society due to people living longer than ever before. For many people, life doesn’t end when they retire as it is only beginning. They can pursue new interests and they can enjoy having an active sex life. For most people at this age and older, there is no reason not to continue experimenting with sex and having a great time.

It can be a time to get to know your body in new ways. You may find sex is different at this age though. It may not occur as often and it may not last as long from start to finish. Yet there are still plenty of ways to please your partner and to make the most of it. It is always good to communicate what makes you feel good to your partner so you get all you can out of your sexual experiences.

Having a healthy lifestyle is very important for people of any age. As you get older it becomes even more important. You can make sure sexual activity continues to be a great part of life at any age. It is great to eliminate the use of tobacco and alcohol from your lifestyle. You should also eat right, get plenty of rest, and exercise regularly.

Many people in their 60’s will tell you that continuing to have sex makes them feel younger. This carries over into many other aspects of their life as well. They feel better physically and mentally. They also find they are able to maintain a very healthy and intimate relationship with that special person in their life.

In our society, it has become more socially acceptable for people to have active sex lives later in life. In the past it was deemed gross or even out of line for people of such age to think about sex. So, they kept their thoughts and activities private. Today they are able to explore and share without feeling guilty or feeling like they are being judged.

It is believed that a positive attitude about sex and realizing it is natural to want to continue having sex when you are older plays a vital role in your life. The people who don’t question their desire for sexual activity into their 60’s can relax and enjoy it. They won’t be inhibited by their age or what is going on around them.

Guest Post – Does ALL sex have to include intercourse…?

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That’s a very good question. First we have to define what ‘intercourse’ is. To most people ‘intercourse’ involves the physical act of procreation. Literally; ‘intercourse’ actually means any type of conversation. Conversation is an important part of any physical contact and should be practiced before; during and after sex.

So, the question really becomes; when does one cross the line where conversation AKA foreplay becomes sex (procreation)?

In these times; people are having sex but no intercourse. They are simply not talking to each other. I have personally seen examples of people in the physical act with no knowledge of the other’s wants or desires.

For me personally; I want to know who I am having sex with. I need to have a spiritual, sexual, intellectual and physical relationship long before sex. This doesn’t fit in today’s standards of ‘Wham, bam, what was your name ma’am?’ that seems prevalent.

For me intercourse begins when we talk. Get to know something about each other. I remember I was walking with a friend and there was a beautiful woman walking towards us. As she passed; he remarked; “Man! I would so totally tap that!”

I was a bit offended by his attitude. I said to him. “Let’s say she gives you a shot! You got to her place and you have the best sex you ever had with her.”

He almost began to salivate like Pavlov’s dog. “You hit that and you hit it again and again.”

He nodded and said: “Yeah boy!”

I paused and asked: “Then what?”

He replied in a confused state. “What?”

“You hit it! You satisfied your desires and maybe hers… now what?”


“Who is she? What does she want out of life? What does she want to really share with you?”

He was dumbfounded. He didn’t understand that I wanted him to truly understand intercourse and that ‘sex’ was meaningless without it.

Back to me… Now that I know who you are; I have to find out what you like; what you’re willing or unwilling to do. I have to find your pleasure zones. I have to find your erotic points. I have to stimulate your mind so that you may give of yourself to me freely and completely! (NOW we’re talking!)

This is where the touching begins; the massages; the probing with tongues and hands; bodies rubbing and exploring each other. Then and only when these point of ‘conversation’ are covered does the sex act begins. But that doesn’t end the intercourse. Continue to talk, touch, feel each other’s presence and desires and do whatever you have to do to fulfill their needs. Then you can find satisfaction in each other’s company.

Some people who are reading this are thinking; ‘That’s a long road to travel just to get laid!” Well if that’s your only destination; you’re right. But right now there is a beautiful, intelligent, sexual woman reading this; who wants to meet me; have a chat over a glass of wine and then make me breakfast in the morning and if all works out well; we will have more encounters that start and end the same way!

You can have all the sex you want. I’ll take intercourse any day!

By C J Cassidy

Tortured Soul Trilogy -Cee Jay Cassidy