Cash Chaos in Your Relationship?

guest post, relationship, self improvement

Money is a major influence in our lives, and when two people come together in a relationship, disputes are bound to arise – it’s only natural. The problem really starts to simmer, though, when understanding and compromise are not reached. Here are 10 ways to find common ground in a money-troubled relationship.

1. Never Sweep Money Problems Under The Rug

It’s easy to avoid talking about the rent when you are three weeks away from it being due, but avoiding money matters only leads to pressure building in the relationship. Whatever you are facing, do it together, and be honest about what’s going on.

2. Work Cooperatively With Money

The two of you are equally responsible for your financial fitness as a couple: Make sure both of you know how to handle it, and that you take active roles in managing the household budget.

3. Focus on Your Financial Future, Not The Past

Even if either or both of you have past financial issues, don’t throw them around in current conversations. That simply raises the level of frustration and will create resentment on the part of the accused.

4. Set Realistic Goals You Both Want To Reach

Sure, it’s nice to dream about what “could be” someday, but if you keep your heads in the clouds all the time, you’re never going to get your feet on the ground. Be realistic with your goals, and be willing to start out small, such as saving a certain percentage of your earnings each week.

5. Live Beneath Your Means

Living beneath your means is one of the smartest financial moves you’ll ever make – and even some of the most famous billionaires on the planet still do it! In many cases, the only way for couples to get ahead is to spend like they’re actually making a lot less. This will reduce a lot of the financial stress in your relationship, too, just make sure you both adhere to the criteria you set.

6. Recognize the Differences You Have

Just like you discovered what your significant other’s favorite color or entree is, you need to discover their financial philosophies and how they came about. People think and act differently when it comes to money, but that doesn’t mean they can’t get along anyway. Ask each other questions, particularly about upbringing and how finances were handled then – that’s most likely where the philosophies and habits originated.

7. Set Up Automatic Payments And Deposits

If you are constantly disagreeing about who should be responsible for what and arguing over it not getting done in a timely matter, set up auto-banking. Your bills can automatically be paid, and a certain percentage of your deposits can go directly into savings: Problems solved!

8. Set and Adhere to Spending Limits

Even wasting pocket change can eventually add up to significant losses for you as a couple, meaning if one of you is spending frivolously, you’re inviting disagreement. Set an exact spending limit for nonessential items, thus, eliminating a major reason for arguments. If that limit is not exceeded, however, don’t question what was bought or the price that was paid, even if you don’t approve – that is simply being judgmental and overbearing.

9. Fix Small Problems Before They Get Out Of Hand

Take note of what you and your partner argue over; if you find yourselves in the same frustrating conversation over and over again, stop and find a solution. There’s likely a reason for the dispute, such as an underlying fear of not having enough money to pay the bills or being able to retire comfortably. Acknowledging the problem opens the door to solving it, while the alternative is to continue to argue over it.

10. Understand the Nature of Compromise

Since money is a leading issue couples face and one of the most common reasons for separation, you have to get this one right! Relationships succeed or fail based on the level of compromise involved, no matter what the issue. Compromise means letting go of fear and control, in order to give your partner a little breathing room; it means they forgive some of your financial misgivings in favor of working things out, and it means finding common ground on all issues, so you can build on your relationship, rather than finding ways of tearing it down.

Consider Reaching Out For Professional Help:

If the two of you simply cannot find common ground with money, or you find yourselves overwhelmed by debt and sabotaged by unscrupulous habits, it might be wise to seek help from a financial counselor. Professional intervention can solve two major problems: (1) The mishandling of money and (2) the strain money mismanagement puts on the relationship. Don’t make it a last resort type solution, because it could be too late at that point; recognize the growing problem, and face it head on, together, with a little professional help.

Money is important, but your relationship must come first in order for it to survive. Let money have its place, but don’t let it take over even when you have disputes. Accept the discord as a normal part of a healthy relationship, and work together to resolve the basic financial issues that would otherwise tear you apart.

About the Author
Brooks Allisen has had a successful career buying and selling gold and precious metal stocks and options for more than 15 years. This up and coming author discussing the six types of gold investors also has a popular website and provides valuable information about investing in gold. To learn more, visit buygold.mywebpal.com.

Naked Truth About Men and Improve Your Communication

communication, female sexuality, how to please a man, how to please a woman, interview, married men, married women, podcast, ready for love radio, relationship, self improvement, single men, single women

Kathryn Foster Ph. D., the author of the Naked Truth About Men, is my guest this week on Ready for Love radio. We share a fascinating conversation about how the inherit differences between men and women cause some interesting conflicts in our relationships. But the more we learn and understand these differences, the more we can understand one another and we can make a success of our relationships – but it takes some extra effort. The information she shares in her book is fascinating and I think you will really enjoy it.

Due to a technical glitch, I have the opportunity to share a clip from one of my favorite original shows about improving your verbal and non-verbal communication with my long time friend Tova Feder. Tune in for both of these fascinating segments on this podcast of Ready for Love radio.

Ready for Love Radio 

Thursdays 9 pm Eastern/6 pm Pacific

www.newvisionsradio.com 

Or the Android or Apple New Visions Radio Apps

If you missed the show – click here for the replay 


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About Kathryn Foster Ph. D. 

Kathryn-Foster-Naked-Truth-About-MenKathryn Foster, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice in Ft Worth, Texas. With a masters degree in marriage and family counseling and a Ph.D. in psychology, she has practiced psycho-therapy for 27 years.

She is also the author of two novels of psychological interest: Sessions: Memoirs of a Psychotherapist and Finding My Way. She has written three nonfiction books: The Naked Truth About Men (And Romance,) What Women Want…. Really! (written for men but meant to be read by couples,) and When Your Relationship Changes (how to find strength when going through a break up.) Contact her through her website at www.kathrynfosterphd.com

She describes herself as a pretty good yogi, a plant-destroyer, a constant re-decorator, a country western dancer, addicted to tea, and a lover of natural healing methods.

She has a new book coming out this summer called Past Lives. She also has a musical coming out this year, entitled, This is Hello, about two people with multiple personality disorder, their inside “people,” and their therapist.

Sheila Robinson-Kiss on Ready for Love Radio

books, communication, podcast, ready for love radio, relationship

The sort of relationships we grew up with seem to be a thing of the past – without a doubt. The parents and children we saw in the TV shows when many of us were children are long lost memories. Sadly, the more accepted relationship is one that has what my guest calls “casual cruelty”. This is just one of many things I’ll discuss with Sheila Robinson-Kiss on this podcast of Ready for Love radio.

Ready for Love radio 

Airing Thursdays 9 pm Easterm/6 pm Pacific 

Listen on www.newvisionsradio.com 

or on the New Visions Radio apps in the Google Play and Apple Store 

If you missed the show click the MP3 player below for the replay 


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These are some of the things we discussed –

  • What prompted you to become involved in a love, relationship or sex related field?
  • In a few sentences, how do you describe what you do and how you help people?
  • How did you become interested in this subject of degradation in relationships?
  • What has been the hardest thing about your work?
  • What has been the most rewarding thing about your work?
  • What is your personal story and how does it tie you to your work?
  • How have you grown from the challenges in your life?
  • What makes you believe in yourself?

Websites – www.sheilarobinsonkiss.com — www.getliftedondemand.com

YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQ87nqn1brEvAJhxaU7gJ8g

They’re Not Coming; An Evolutionary Analysis of the Reasons Relationships Leave You Feeling Ditched and What You Can Do to Adapt Your Way to the Good Life   

About Sheila Robinson-Kiss 

The author of 4 books with nearly 20 years of clinical experience under her belt, Sheila Robinson-Kiss is the new voice urging you to take action and lift up your life in today’s disconnected relationship state. Sheila is on a mission to give people the tools to adapt to the fast-paced, distraction filled climate we live in. Sheila has provided high impact programs for companies like, American Family Insurance, The Department of Veteran’s Affairs, Pfizer, The Boys and Girls Clubs of America, and more.

Sheila taps into the soul and psyche of her audience by creating a long-lasting memorable experience. Event attendees walk out excited to implement what they have learned—strategies to meet real world challenges, take control of stress, and rethink the performance possibilities for their lives. She delivers fun, uplifting, interactive, programs, filled with well-researched, practical strategies, needed to sustain balance and high performance daily.

By creating awareness of the tough relationship climate in which we live, she provides the techniques to move forward with renewed compassion and balance. She moves beyond the “neat and tidy” relational paradigms of the past and offers relevant solutions for working and living today.

Sheila’s research was born out of the realization that the relationship environment has changed. In nearly two decades as a licensed clinical social worker, she witnessed a marked change in her clients. Reports of “casual cruelty” and the absence of deep, meaningful connections started to rise. People seemed more broken…busted…bruised…on edge. People’s work and relationships have suffered.

Her work explores how this new relationship environment shapes not just our roles as friends, parents, and partners, but also our behaviors as employees, employers, and consumers. The new state has impacted performance across all areas of life.
Our relationships are at the core of our experience as human beings; yet living, working, and loving happily is more difficult than ever. Sheila’s timely and compelling message allows the audience to finally “put a finger” on the disconnection and distraction they feel and shine a light on how we move forward from here, implement what we know, and take action to uplift our lives.

Her engaging, and energizing talks come from her soul. Sheila offers a realistic yet refreshing perspective on how each of us can work and thrive in business and in life.

5-5-2016-Sheila-Robinson-Kiss

Fertility Awareness with Hannah Ransom

books, female sexuality, married women, podcast, ready for love radio, relationship, self improvement, sex, single women, women's issue

How much do you actually know about fertility, birth control and how the female body actually functions? After the research I did for this show, I can tell you that I really didn’t know much, and I’ve lived in a female body for 50 years 🙂 There is much more to learn and I just ordered a book titled Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler which was highly recommended by Hannah Ransom, my guest this week on Ready for Love radio.

Ready for Love Radio 

Thursdays 9 pm Eastern/ 6 pm Pacific

Listen at www.newvisionsradio.com

Or with the New Visions Radio Apps

Hannah is a Certified Fertility Awareness Educator and in just the hour we talked and in the hour and a half of videos in her fertility mini course (which we’ll tell you all about in the podcast), she told me about all sorts of things I had no idea about. Whether you’re:

  • A woman who wants to find out about birth control options without hormones
  • A woman who wants to understand how her body works better
  • A woman who wants to understand how her body will function monthly over the next several decades during her childbearing years
  • A woman who wants to plan a family and her pregnancies
  • A woman who is facing peri-menopause and would like to get a handle on her fluctuating hormones
  • A man who loves a woman and would like to better understand her hormones and bodily changes

I highly recommend you visit Hannah’s website to learn more about her work and definitely sign up for her free mini course. There are a services of videos to help you determine if her information is right for you and if you want to learn more She also has a more in depth program that may be of interest to you.

Hannah’s website

Sign up for Hannah’s FREE Mini Class

Sign up for Hannah’s  Fertility Awareness Program 

Check back if you miss the show on April 28th to hear the podcast replay —


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Hannah Ransom Bio –

Hannah Ransom is a certified fertility awareness educator obsesses with helping women feel good about their birth control decisions and confident and empowered in their bodies. She loves reading a good scientific study, eating lots of food, hiking, knitting, and her guilty pleasure is Gilmore Girls. She is the creator of the HER fertility program, made to help women learn and understand fertility awareness without the confusion that often comes along with it.

Contact Hannah – 

For details about Rock Out to Knock Out Cancer – contact Nikki at lovecoachjourney @ gmail.com

Rock Out to Knock Out Facebook Page – https://www.facebook.com/events/799468130173805/

Trystology Boutique – http://trystology.com/    Enter the Coupon Code – ACS10

Article by Lara Catone about Discharge vs Divine Nectar

04-28-2016-Fertility-Awareness

Can Men and Women Be Friends

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People have debated for years — can men and women be friends? Society and the media seem determined to make us think that men and women must be romantically involved, and while some people find it difficult, there are some men and women who manage to be platonic friends. On this podcast of Ready for Love radio, my friend and co-host Pamela McKenzie and I discuss this topic. We will also discuss one of TV’s best examples of a platonic male/female friendships – Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds.

Ready for Love Radio 

Thursdays 9 pm Easter/6 pm Pacific 

Listen on www.newvisionsradio.com 

Or on the New Visions Radio app on Android and Apple

Click below to listen to the replay


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Here are a couple of links for more information –

Five Flirting Styles Explained

Flirting Survey 

04-21-2016-Men-Women-Friends

Six Categories of Love – Which Have You Experienced?

dr ava cadell, how to please a man, how to please a woman, love, loveology university, married men, married women, relationship, sex, sexpert, single men, single women

There are six types of love – they were categorized by John Allen Lee. Love is a multidimensional part of our life – so there is no way one – four letter word could sum up the diversity of love in our lives.

The six categories include: agape, eros, ludus, mania, pragma and storge. You may have heard of a couple of those, but let’s take a closer look at each type.

Agape

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us the scriptural description of agape love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.”

Do you describe love as selfless, generous and a sacrifice? These words can be seen as positives or negatives, depending on the person. This is often a love that does not include intimacy or giving and receiving. However, agape lovers will often remain faithful to one another to avoid pain. In a healthy marriage, sex and intimacy are a gift for the partners. People who chose to have agape love in a marriage can suffer by inattention to each other’s physical, mental and emotional needs.

Eros

Eros is often described as “love at first site” and “being struck by cupid’s arrow”. There are many schools of thought about how lasting eros love can be. Eros lovers are very passionate, have sensual desires and they enjoy touching. This type of love leads to that “honeymoon” feeling and some people claim to be “twitterpated”.

This is the type of love where people can be drawn together because of a physical attraction. Over time this can cool and they “fall out of love” with each other. In some cases, a deeper and long lasting love can develop. In the beginning of a relationship, people often put their best foot forward. But as they get to know each other better, they may or may not “fall” deeper in love with one another on a deeper level. This high intensity love can be very short lived if both people are not willing to work to maintain it.

Ludus

Ludus is a playful and flirtatious love. People who enjoy the chase phase of a relationship may experience this type of love. They enjoy chasing, playing the game and the conquest of a new person. However, once they catch this person, the relationship i often over.

Many people like a loving relationship for the security and commitment – that is not an appeal in ludus love. It is not uncommon for ludus love to move on to a new potential conquest before the previous relationship has ended. This is the lover who likes to make notches on their bedpost to keep count of their conquests – it is quantity of “love” over quality. They may also see love as a trap and view the ability to reproduce to be a sign of masculinity.

Mania

Mania is a destructive love that is extreme, wild and can be dangerous. This love has many highs and lows . The person can go from intense attraction and great intensity and then neediness, jealousy and obsession.

A maniac lover has an unreasonable fear of losing their partner and need to be reassured all the time. Even reassurance often are not enough to lessen the intense nature of their manic love. This person will stalk, smother, work very hard to possess and control their partner. A manic lover often has low self esteem and that manifests itself in the way they treat their partner.

Manic lovers may view marriage or a long term relationship as a means of ownership. Children may be seen as a competition for other’s attention or children may be used as a substitute for their lover. Sex can be used as a way to gain reassurance of their partner’s love. It is not uncommon for a manic love to lead to an addictive and/or codependent relationship.

Pragma

Pragma is a practical love that may fill a need the way a business arrangement would. Each partner brings something to the relationship that the other needs and has a value to each other, such as – money, stability, a home, a parent for a child, etc. This love is convenient for each partner and their compatibility can have nothing to do with intimacy or sex. Although it is convenient, these relationships are not always successful.

This love is very rational and they often have real expectations about their partner. These partners may work harder to avoid infidelity because they want to avoid the consequences of their action. This prompts them to weigh the cost and reward of the relationship – often without the usual emotional persuasion. Sex may be considered to be a reward between the partners or only as a means to have children. Depending on the person, marriage and children can seem like assets or liabilities.

Storge

How many times have we read or watched the story of a person debating whether they should have a relationship with a best friend or a passionate lover? Storge love is the answer to this question. Storge gives you the best of both world. You friend and lover are the same person. This love begins as a friendship and over time a deeper love and intimacy develop between the two people.

The friendship and this closeness is a primary attraction to the relationship. There can be passion – but the passion and sex in the relationship is often secondary to the intimacy they enjoy. They can spend very satisfying intimate time together and be satisfied even if it does not lead to sexual intimacy. This does not mean that sex is not a part of the relationship, but the other elements of their love are often more important to their happiness. These people have peace, security and stability in their love that other people may never know. Even if the romantic elements of the relationship lessen over time, they maintain the valued friendship.

Excerpt from Love Certification Course by Dr Ava Cadell

These are types of lovers who make, good matches, possible matches, difficult matches and dangerous matches.

Good Match

Eros + Eros

Storge + Storge

Pragma + Pragma

Possible Match

Storge + Eros

Agape + Eros

Ludus + Ludus

Storge + Pragma

Storge + Agape

Mania + Mania

Difficult Match

Eros + Ludus

Eros + Manic

Pragma + Ludus

Agape + Ludus

Mania + Storge

Agape + Mania

Pragma + Agape

Agape + Agape

Dangerous Match

Pragma + Eros

Ludus + Storge

Ludus + Mania

Mania + Pragma

Love Certification Course From Loveology University

This Course Is For You If:

* You want to Learn the 5 Ingredients of Love
* You want to Find and Keep Everlasting Love
* You want to Know How to Love A Woman versus a Man
* You want to Know the Difference Between Love and Lust

Welcome to Loveology University’s Love Certification Course. Who else offers a certification on a course as valuable as love? In this course you’ll learn about the history of love, the different kinds of love and how to get the love you need. From self-love, romantic love to passionate love, this course offers groundbreaking techniques to make your life a loving one. You’ll learn about the 5 essential ingredients to finding love, 12 keys to keeping love, how to love a woman verses how to love a man and some fascinating statistics on love around the world. So if you want more love in your life, start by becoming certified in LU’s course on love.

https://avacadell.com/select-course-women/love-women

Guys – Is There Something You Want In Bed But Are Afraid to Ask?

experimentation, male sexuality, married men, relationship, sex, single men

I just spotted this article in Women’s Health and was curious if there’s something other men want, but are nervous about asking their partners. The best advise I can give you is to say — if you don’t tell her, she’ll never know… these are just excerpts from the article, I’ll include the link to the full article below.

“Dominate me! Having to ask kind of defeats the purpose.” —Dean, 27

“Group sex is something I think would be a crazy experience, but there’s never been a partner who I would ask for that. It would take a lot of alcohol to admit.” —Daniel, 24

“I wish I could just ask for a blowjob sometimes without feeling like I’m asking to be serviced.” —Andrei, 26

“I like it when women are aggressive and creative [and] take initiative and surprise me. You can imagine that it could be difficult to ask your partner to be more spontaneous though.” —Zaiden, 29

“I’ve always wanted to tie a girl up, but I’m worried about asking for that. I watch Law & Order. I know how wrong that can go.” —Bill, 21

“I love it when a girl talks dirty, but I would be embarrassed to ask her to do it. I wouldn’t want her to ask me to do it back. I don’t know how!” —Tommy, 26

“Threesomes. I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings and have her interpret it like, ‘Oh, you don’t like me? You need more?'” —Grant, 25

“What I’ve always wanted to do is have sex with a girl between her boobs, but I wouldn’t want to ask. It could be degrading.” —Billy, 27

“I don’t want to have to ask to cuddle. Don’t laugh! I think some girls assume guys don’t want to cuddle, so they don’t, but we’re not going to ask for that, you know?” —Sam, 29

You can read the full article here – http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/what-men-want-in-bed